Every great city or travel destination has to have its own iconic landmark. Paris has the Eiffel Tower, Agra India has the Taj Mahal, Keystone South Dakota has Mount Rushmore, and Darwin Minnesota has the world’s largest ball of twine.
Albany NY can now be included in this list of sightseeing hotspots. Set to have its grand opening this May, a 260,000 square foot Wal-Mart Megastore is under construction. I’m sure you can understand my excitement. I mean come on the Deathstar in the Wal-Mart Empire is practically in my backyard. My feelings are a mix of civic pride and youthful lust over all the hot tourist pussy this is going to bring to the neighborhood.
After hearing this exciting news I had no choice but to go and check this out. Let me tell you it was inspiring. Unlike most major construction sites that have safety barriers and restricted areas this bad boy is open to the public. I picked up two DVD’s for my niece and had a coffee coolatta at the Dunkin Donuts while I toured the grounds. This place has everything and I mean everything. Example: How about 4 escalators. Not impressed? Well what if I told you that two of those escalators were for shopping carts. Yeah that’s right. Suck it Sistine Chapel you don’t have that going on. You know what else they have; sweet customer service that you can’t find anywhere else.
Cashier “Justin”: How’s it going? I thought you were my Uncle when you came in you look just like him.
Me: He must be a very good looking man.
Cashier “Justin”: Um…Uhhh…That will be $26.96
Who needs to get on a plane, fly to Europe and mix it up with some locals when that action is going on in Upstate NY?
I now know what it felt like for Pharaoh Khafre to look on as the Sphinx was built.
Just to give the size of the Colossus of Colonie some perspective I have compiled the following chart:
It had never crossed my mind until a few minutes ago but I have no idea what the top of my dresser looks like. Now that thought is going to haunt me for the next week I know it. I’ll try to keep a list of things that I have never seen the top of before and keep you posted…
The average Amerian male is 69 inches tall. I sit at 47.5 inches tall. That is a 45.26% disparity betwen my sight line and that of the average American male. Somewhere in that 1 foot 9.5 inch gap there is a dissimilitude (thanks http://thesaurus.reference.com/ ) in experiences.
When you are under a person’s eyeline I think they forget that you are there at times. This strange invisibility cloak gives me a chance to be a voyeur right out in the open. It happens everywhere and at all hours. Almost daily someone let’s down the guard for an instant and flashes me with their stripped down socially unconcious self. Think of these as behavioral nip slips. They only have to last a second but they are awesome every time. I’m watching and now I’ll be sharing these moments free of charge right here.
This is just the perspective of one man who is living life just slightly under the radar of many people.